i actually blame you for making me who i am today.
u over-reacted
twice
that's all i know.
nothing i type ever make sense now.

8

2004

just got back from 3 weeks in bangkok.. damn i'm already missing the place. :(

i was actually scared of her that once cuz she would lash out at me.
i knew the more we talked about it, the more shit she's gonna dig out and i would eventually need to accept it.
i was in denial yet i needed her.
for that once i was scared of her. haha
i usually kinda like it when good girls curse.
but she was furious. rage.
i was afterall in the wrong. and it was finally time for judgement.
everytime i get an sms on the phone i wanted it to be her. yet i was scared that it was her finding out some other shit that i did.
weird that this came up suddenly.

____________
and be born again over and over again
prayer is like a scrubbing towel.
scrub off all your sins
then your skin will become as new as a baby's ass. right?

-sympathy for lady vengeance-
park chan wook films rockssss!

people want to know who you're fucking, how long have you been fucking each other, when are you gonna stop fucking her and start fucking someone else.  that is all they want to know.
everything else does not seem of concern to them.
fuck fuck fuck.
change ur surname to fuck please.
fuck u lah.

she warned me. she say if u see my email. dont simply add the pretty girls. cuz they're all star and they're so damn fucking pretty and shit like that. i'll kill u, i'll kick u "

puki nenek kau. hey plz lah pukimak. u think i'm the kind of person who do shit like that ka?  u even got fucking brains? am i even loggin in to ur cb email? 

why is it so fucking hard to break up?
move on to diagram 3 - sleep with her best friend

like fucking flu keep coming back over n over n over again.
so sick of this shit.
fucked up lah

play the music and start reading or whatever turns you on. 
 lol

--

it's been quite some time since i've been based in an office. i sometimes wonder how our parents can do it every single day for years and years doing the same routine over and over again.

anyways.


are you already over there..?
i heard you were going.
hai.
something seems missing from my life here.
everything seems to be going fine but yet there is something missing.
what is it. what is it.
i can't figure it out. years fly by in a snap yet everything remains the same.
dont feel like growing up. dont feel like bearing the responsibilities.
being grown up isnt half as fun as growing up..

at times i think its stupid to be writing thoughts down on blogs.  like; wahhh sudah berapa tahun main blog lagi.
facebook - people use facebook just to show off to each other that they've got a better life. or atleast they want people to think they're cooler than the others.
its sad.
yet here i am sitting on a rainy day typing away.
i feel its the perfect metaphor for a sad day.  rain drops falling to the ground reminds me of tears flowing down the cheeks onto the ground.
have i not paid my dues yet?:
is there more to feel, more pain to experience?
and suddenly i feel like some shit is gonna hit the ground too. brb

feel out of place.
something is not right.
i got my dreams back.. but none of them have been positive.or atleast that too depends on how you interpret it.

fucking emo early in the day.
time to sit back , light up and chill out.
:)


ps. i know ur watching . and i wish everything could be the same as it was. yet that time has passed and all that's left now is just a sigh..